Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY