soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.