i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
