my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
