'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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