Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
