she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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