I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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