I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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