And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
