My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize