i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
tell your sister to shave her snatch
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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