People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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