I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
