I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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