she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
