so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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