She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
