im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
