lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
