whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Randomize