Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize