Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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