My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
