Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
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Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
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As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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