Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
