I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
