My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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