Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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