Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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