That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she looked like the before picture.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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