Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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