South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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