His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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