Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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