We named our party play list daddy issues
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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