I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Damn victory sex feels great
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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