no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
