too bad you live with your parents still
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
