I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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