you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
