She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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