Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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