Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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