i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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