I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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