how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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