My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Randomize
