Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
