we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
