hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
