If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
