I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
