Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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