I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
