that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
