either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
