Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
