no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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