Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
