I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
