She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
only you would photoshop your dick
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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