Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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