Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
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I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
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It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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