david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
