She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize