question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
