I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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