I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
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When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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