If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
