my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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